ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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