What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
