I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
