I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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