You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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