Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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