Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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