it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
