Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
