Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
