My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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