I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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