This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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