This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
