yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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