hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Randomize
