That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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