Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
