i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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