so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
They have beer where we have blood.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
