i permit you to call me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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