ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
