cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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