My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!