I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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