last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
