We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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