I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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