I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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