Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
