I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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