so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
