Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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