You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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