Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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