She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
