Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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