11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
