I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
