i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
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She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
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