i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My dick has a subreddit
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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