Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
