You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
