I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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