Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
