it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
