Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize