well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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