woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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