Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
