then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
