Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
