? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
