Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
