Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My vagina just recognized that song.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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