you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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