There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
