is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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